Personnel File for Chief Petty Officer Hayley Griffith

[Deck 8, Office of the Ship's Counselor, U.S.S. Normandie]
[July 21, 2386 CE]
[0900 Hours]

Hayley had returned to her room and changed out of her work uniform into some loose grey cotton pants and a figure-obscuring hooded sweatshirt. She had tucked her communicator into a pocket in the shirt in case anyone who hadn't heard that she'd been given the day off tried to contact her. With a sigh, she pressed a button on the wall outside the counselor's office.

"Enter!" Eiri called out, rising from his desk and checking his schedule. He was momentarily glad that he had set aside a few hours where he had nothing scheduled. He tugged on his uniform. From the other side of the door he could sense a deep sadness and frustration. The mind he touched seemed familiar, but that was a common occurrence with people of the same species.

The doors slid open and Hayley stepped inside. She glanced around at the well-furnished room and remarked, “Wow, you done a lotta decoratin’ in one day.”

Eiri chuckled and looked around the office as well. “I did manage to accomplish quite a bit in a short time. Thank you, I hope you approve.” He smiled in his usual stiff fashion and gestured towards the couch and chairs. “What can I do for you today, Hayley? May I call you Hayley? Would you care to sit down? How about a drink?”

“Yeah, of course you can call me Hayley,” she said as she took a seat. “I’m fine without the drink, though.” She leaned back and stretched her arms along the back of the couch. “So, I been ordered to take the day off an’ come an’ see you... for “psychological evaluation,” she said, stressing the last phrase.

Eiri sat down in a chair across from her. In between them on the table was a large brass bowl with a thick wooden stick inside of it that made it look a little like a mortar and pestle. He smiled again. “Well, I am glad you came to see me. How are you doing, Hayley? I know that what happened to the Wanderer was not easy for any of us.”

Hayley rolled her head around and rubbed her neck. “You can say that again.” This is stupid, she thought. I oughta be out there keepin’ an eye on things. “I dunno what Sepeth was thinkin’. He knows how important this was to me.”

Eiri stood again and retrieved a PADD from his desk then returned to where he was sitting. “Yes, I am certain that he does realize the importance of your assignments, but I believe that he may be concerned for your well-being, also. And how are you doing?” He thought he would try again, since the red-headed engineer had dodged the question the first time.

“I’m...” she said, pausing for a moment, “I dunno how I am.” She shoved her hands into the front pocket of her sweatshirt. “Y’know what?” she said, deciding to go ahead and be frank with the counselor, “I do know how I am, I’m daggone teed off right now.” I’m here, so I may as well go along with this baloney, she thought.

“Are you angry because you were asked to come here today?” he asked politely. He was very aware that her level of frustration was high and he did not want to make it any worse with conjecture. “What about your posting? Are you happy at all with your current position?”

Hayley shook her head. “I ain’t angry ‘bout where I am, I’m angry ‘bout where I’m not.” She stared at the floor and continued, “This ain’t got the first thing to do with my new job description. I mean, don’t get me wrong, this is an awful lotta ship for my likin’, but I got a whole bay fulla shuttles that I get to take care of, an’ that’s what really floats my boat.”

Eiri listened politely, his knees crossed and the PADD sitting on top of them. He seemed to be making notes, but his face remained friendly and focused completely on Hayley. One distinctively Vulcan eyebrow lifted as she spoke. “I am not sure I understand what you mean.”

Hayley gestured to the closed door, out toward the hallway. “I’m not out there. I should be with my ship. She ain’t long for this world.”

“Are you speaking of the Wanderer?” He seemed rather surprised and maybe a little confused.

Hayley stared slack-jawed at the Vulcan-mix. “I been on this ship for one night. Yeah, the Wanderer.”

Eiri sat back in his chair a little. For a moment he did not seem to know what to do with himself. He settled for fidgeting slightly. “The Wanderer, I believe, is no longer space-worthy,” he said it carefully as if perhaps it was a suggestion.

Hayley shut her mouth and looked back at the ground, unwilling to believe what Eiri had said. “Y’know, even if she isn’t, I jus’ wanna make sure that they ain’t ripping her to shreds. She deserves... deserved better than that.”

“What exactly is your relationship with the Wanderer?” The question sounded carefully clinical.

Hayley leaned back against the couch and eyed the counselor warily. He’s fixin’ to judge me, I can feel it, she thought. “I was her Chief Engineer. Which is a big deal. It goes beyond readin’ terminals an’ runnin’ diagnostics. Jus’ like the Captain’s job is to take care of his crew, the Chief Engineer has to take care of the ship. Forgive me if I seem overly concerned with her well-being.” She folded her arms across her chest.

Eiri understood at that moment that he had pushed her enough. “How are you sleeping?” He changed the subject.

Hayley wasn’t prepared for the redirect; it caught her off-guard. “Buh... um...” She rubbed at her neck again. “Not so good. But hey, we been through the wringer, you an’ me.”

Eiri assumed that a “wringer” was indeed what they had all shared aboard the Wanderer. He chuckled a little and nodded. “Yes, yes we have. Aside from the anger and frustration, have you experienced any other strong emotional states?”

Hayley pursed her lips. He’s readin’ my daggone mind, isn’t he? Half-breed diggin’ around in my head, she thought. “I dunno, Counselor. You tell me.”

The eyebrow went up a second time. “I think that maybe some sleep might be in order. Perhaps you should see the medic and ask him to give you something to help you sleep.” He tapped the PADD on his knee. “Actually, I insist that you do so.”

Hayley sighed. “How long am I gonna be sittin’ out? I have a job to do, regardless of what’s goin’ on down there now.”

Eiri nodded. “And I have a job to do as well, Hayley. Part of it consists of taking care of the welfare of this crew and making sure that their engineer has had enough good sleep not to blow us all up.” He smiled and Hayley chuckled bitterly. “If you go to the doctor now, and spend part of today catching up to the sleep you are already lacking and then get a good night’s sleep on top of it, you may return to work as soon as tomorrow, but, as it is my responsibility, I would ask that you really do this for me. Think of it as a benefit to the crew.”

She was starting to feel ashamed of herself for her lack of control. This was the kind of thing that the boys always gave her a hard time about back on Earth. She thought about Sepeth, and how he always seemed to keep his cool. Sure, he was Vulcan, but he had been a good teacher and a good friend. It dawned on her that the counselor sitting in front of her was half-Vulcan. “Hey, can I ask you a personal question, while we’re here? How d’ya do it?” she asked. “How d’ya hold it together when things are fallin’ to pieces around you? Is there some Vulcan trick you can teach me to help me push all that down?”

Eiri did not expect the question. “A trick? Discipline is not a trick. It is a constant state of awareness of your own mind. It is not an easy “fix” by any means. Staying calm requires work and careful control.” He chuckled a little and rubbed his temple. “Of course, that does not mean that everything goes perfectly. There are always ways to shake even the most disciplined mind. If you would like some ideas on how to relax and remain calm, I can suggest a wide variety of methods. We will just have to work together to find the one that works best for you.”

Hayley tucked her hair behind her ears and exhaled slowly. He’s right, I gotta quit bein’ ornery and settle down if’n I wanna get back to work. This ain’t ‘zactly makin’ a good first impression to the new folks, she thought. “Yeah, that’s prolly a good idea. Just let me know what you think I need to do an’ I’ll make sure an’ get some rest today.”

Eiri smiled warmly. “Well... I think I would like for you to try two things for me. One is a breathing exercise and and the other is a meditation exercise.” He rose. “Give me one moment and I’ll get the breathing exercise instructions for you... while I do that... you should look around the room and see if any of these meditation devices are of interest to you.”

Hayley pushed off of her knees to stand up, and glanced about at the various objects present. She poked at the pestle in the bowl on the table, and it made a high-pitched ringing sound. In the right setting it might be relaxing, but the sound was grating to Hayley’s sleep-deprived ears so she moved over to the wall, where a number of small objects were arranged on a shelf. “Hey,” she called over her shoulder, “what’s this little wooden thingy here?” She pointed at a small geometric puzzle.

“It is a logic puzzle. Would you like to try it? I have downloaded instructions for the breathing exercises into your PADD.” He joined her by the small collection of objects. “Vulcans often use these little puzzles in meditations. When you have a disciplined mind a logic puzzle can provide focus. It can also be used to help you obtain that discipline.”

She picked up the puzzle and turned it over and over in her hands. “Huh,” she said, “this’n oughta keep me occupied fer a spell.” She narrowed her eyes as she worked through the interlocking puzzle pieces in her mind.

Eiri smiled and returned to his place in the chair. He could sense that the puzzle had an almost immediate effect on the fiery engineer. It was almost as if concentrating on something had sucked all of the chaos from her mind. It made sense to Eiri, since she was an engineer, that a hands-on experience would be much more beneficial. “Why don’t you keep it?” he suggested. “Consider it a gift.” He smiled.

“For real?” Hayley asked, surprised. Heck, I guess he ain’t all bad, she mused. “Thanks, Doc.” She gently tossed the puzzle a couple of centimeters into the air and caught it smoothly before tucking it in the pocket of her shirt. “I cain’t explain it, but I feel better already.”

Eiri chuckled softly. “I am glad of that, Hayley. You were very upset when you first came in. I can sense your feeling of peace now.” He smiled and stood again. “Would you be willing to come see me again? Perhaps in a week?”

“You got it, Doc. Long as I don’t hafta miss any more work.” She grinned at him and shook his hand, then stuck her hands back into her sweatshirt pocket. “Seeya then!” she said, and headed back to her quarters to lie down and toy with the puzzle for a while.

Eiri actually followed her out into the hallway. “Hayley! Do not forget to see the Doctor for something to help you sleep today and tonight. I will let him know you are on your way.”

“Right! Almost forgot,” she replied. “I’ll head down to sickbay. Thanks again!”

“Thank you, Hayley. I wish excellent sleep on you.” He smiled, winked and gave her a little bow before she disappeared around the corner.

((Joint post by Hayley "Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery" Griffith and Eiri "I'm not getting paid enough for this" Ashshy.))

Evaluation for Hayley Griffith
To: The Desk of Captian Virkov
From: The Office of Eiri Ashshy

Sir,

I have evaluated Chief Petty Officer Hayley Griffith and find that she is currently an unstable personality with borderline depression. My recommendation was for her to receive medical help for her lack of sleep and meditation to help her nerves. Once she has caught up on her sleep she should be able to return to normal duties. Due to the traumatizing nature of her last assignment these feelings are not outside of the realm of possibility. I believe that with monitoring and a strong regimen of meditation she can expect a full recovery.

Her scores are as follows:

K	4	Defensivness/Denial/Evasiveness
CNS	3	"Cannot say" Questions not answered
OH	2	Hostility Scale
A	6	Anxiety Scale
R	2	Repression Scale
Depression	6	Poor morale, lack of hope in the future, and a general dissatisfaction with one's own life situation
Hypomania	2	Elevated mood, accelerated speech and motor activity, irritability, flight of ideas, and brief periods of depression.
Social Introvention	3	Tendency to withdraw from social contacts and responsibilities.
SOD	3	Social Discomfort Scale
F-K	5	Honesty of test responses/not faking good or bad

Average scores: 36/10 = 3.6 is not a score to cause concern at this moment. Patient should be monitored with future counseling sessions.

[Deck 8, Office of the Ship's Counselor, U.S.S. Normandie]
[July 23, 2386 CE]
[1830 Hours]

Having spent the afternoon working out the fine details of her personal project, it had occurred to Hayley that she'd been on the Normandie for almost three days and she still hadn't set foot in the shuttlebay that was to be her workspace. As far as she was concerned, her state of mind had returned to normal, so all that stood in the way was receiving a clean bill of mental health from the ship's counselor.

The turbolift doors opened onto Deck 8, and she moseyed up to the door of Lt. Ashshy's office. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she reached up and prodded the button.

Eiri stood from behind his desk and tugged on his uniform as usual. He smiled a little to himself. Hayley seemed in much better spirits. It appeared that his suggestion of a personal project had been just what the industrious red-head needed. "Enter!" he called out, actually looking forward to the session. He did not like to keep people from what they loved and he knew Hayley loved her ships.

The doors opened to reveal the skinny engineer, her shoulders raised and her hands shoved in the front pocket of an oversized sweatshirt. "Howdy there!" she said brightly as she stepped across the hearth and into the office. "I know we said next week, but I really oughta be down at the docks fixin' up the boats, y'know?" She plopped down onto the couch and curled her legs up beside her.

Eiri nodded. "I also think that is where you should be. Would you like a drink? How have you been feeling and what have you been up to?" He went to the replicator and asked for a cup of tea, sweet and hot. Removing the cup he turned back to Hayley with a smile.

"Yeah, sure, I'll have some water if y'don't mind," she replied. "An' I been doin' real good, real good. Feelin' like I got my head on straight. Which reminds me...!"

She reached into her shirt pocket and pulled out the little wooden logic puzzle. While it had been a perfect cube when Eiri had first given it to her, the pieces were arranged in a slightly different fashion now. It was still mostly square, but there were four thin, zig-zaggy pieces that protruded from clefts in the four sides, giving it the appearance of a sort of cubist bird. With an impish grin, Hayley set the puzzle down on the table. "Go on ahead," she urged, brimming with pride, "push down on the tail. The wings flap an' everythin'."

Eiri blinked. He was definitely not expecting her to make changes to the puzzle. He offered her her requested glass of water and sat down in a chair across from the red-headed engineer. Slowly, he reached out and picked up the little cube. "Amazing!" The wings did indeed flap as Hayley had said. "May I keep this? Or would you be kind enough to make me one? I collect them. Of course this would be one that I would never give out. It is truly clever. I have never been very mechanically minded myself. You truly have a gift." He smiled at her. "And how are you sleeping these days?"

"Aw, shucks, doc!" she said, shoving her hands back in her shirt pocket. "'Course y'can keep it. It's yer own box after all. 'Sides," she added sheepishly, reaching for the glass of water, "I took the liberty o' programmin' the pattern matrices fer all the pieces into the replicator." She took a sip from the glass. "An' it wasn't my idea anyways, it was Sarah's." She set the glass down on the table and leaned back on the couch. "I reckon I been sleepin' jus' fine. That stuff they gave me down in sickbay did the trick; got me feelin' right as rain."

Eiri cocked his head to one side. He knew that Hayley had a propensity to assign human characteristics to ships and systems, talking about them as if they were lovers or friends, so he was not concerned about her mental health regarding the Normandie's AI. Although, he had never heard her speak as if the AI had its own ideas. Yes, SARAH could be annoyingly overhelpful at times, but it was still AI and that was all it was. "I am sorry, did you say it was SARAH's idea? I was not aware that the AI actually had its own ideas."

Hayley shrugged and replied, "Well what's an idea, after all? When there's a problem, we take what we already know an' apply it. Jus' thinkin' about a problem ain't so far removed from accessin' a computer's memory bank." She shifted her weight as she worked out how to phrase her next thought. "I use a shotgun approach to problem solvin', pretty much--I throw a buncha solutions at the wall until somethin' sticks. It ain't real... logical, I guess, but... um..." She trailed off, unsure of how to continue. In lieu of completing the sentence, she simply gestured to the puzzle bird. "Sarah didn't flat-out tell me to make a paper crane outta that thing, but when she said there was lotsa ways to solve it, I stopped thinkin' of it as a box, an' jus' went from there." She reached out and picked up her glass again. "So I guess it was my idea technically, but Sarah done planted the seed."

"Ah! I understand that." Eiri was pleasantly surprised with the innovation of the red-haired engineer. What she said sounded perfectly logical in her own whimsical way of speaking. He smiled. "Well it seems to me, that you are more then fit to go back to your ships. I will inform Lieutenant Sepeth immediately and you can start back today or tomorrow as you see fit. I trust you to monitor your own sleeping patterns, although I do hate to give up our visits." He smirked a little, one eyebrow wiggling, trying to make light of the fact that he wished to continue seeing her.

"Hot dog!" cried Hayley, snapping her fingers with delight. "I'll take this evenin' ta read up on all the kids in the shuttlebay, so's I can jump right in tomorrow mornin'," she said, giddily staring into her water glass and thinking aloud. "Oh," she added, "I'm sure I can find a reason to come back an' see ya. If I ain't comin' close to losin' my mind, then I ain't doin' my job. She winked at the half-Betazoid.

I hope I ain't the craziest person on board, she thought.

Nah...

Setting the glass back down on the table, Hayley practically bounced up off the couch. She had been hoping that the counselor would send her back to work. Tossing him a cheeky salute, she hurried off to the door. "Thanks, doc!" she shot back over her shoulder, just before disappearing through the doorway out into the hall, as visions of shuttlecraft danced in her head.

Eiri chuckled and tapped out a quick permission to Lieutenant Sepeth for Hayley to return to work. He was pleased with her progress and proud of her as well. They had come through a lot together and survived. It was good to see her back on her feet. The spunky engineer did more for crew morale then she thought or knew. He picked up the puzzle box and cradled it carefully in his hands for several moments before getting up and setting it in a place of prominence so it could be seen by all.

<End: Joint post by Eiri "Where's your umbrella, Hayley" Ashshy and Hayley "Inside out, three miles away" Griffith>